Delirium
by Fighter and Sacrifice
Summary: Levi lets Hanji stay over for the night. Or; the story where Levi has porn on his phone, colors Hanji's picture, eats peanut butter, and accepts his true feelings for Eren. Crack.
I rubbed my eyes blearily, walking into my first class of the day. I hadn't gone to sleep until a little past three this morning. This was because I had made the mistake of letting Hanji stay at my apartment last night, and although she was my best friend, one of the side effects of being around her was sleep deprivation. God, that lady always kept me up for hours.

But when she stayed over was the only time I could really get a good glimpse into her mind. She didn't drink, but her mouth had the filter equivalent to that of a drunk person when it was early in the morning. And somehow, it was contagious, and she always managed to spread the insanity to me. Honestly, it was pretty entertaining. At least, until she started writing stories about her creepy fantasies about Eren and I, and taking pictures of me while I was asleep to give to Eren.

Oh yes, Eren Jaeger, the guy who sits next to me in several of my classes. Including this one.

* * *

 **The night before - 11:00 P.M.**

I heard a knock at my door. It was probably Hanji, since she loved coming to my apartment without an invitation. Or, more accurately, she loved coming to my apartment with no warning. I opened the door.

"Levi, can I stay over tonight?" she asked. I groaned in mock annoyance. I normally wouldn't let her if I had homework or studying I needed to get done, but by this time I'd already finished all of that, and was just lazing around. I was bored, so I figured Hanji would change that. She always made things quite... interesting.

"Sure, I guess," I said. She walked in, and was wearing her bookbag. I closed the door, and followed her into the living room.

She dropped her bookbag onto the couch, and started pulling out a bunch of items. A laptop, two jars of peanut butter, box of colored pencils, and a folder of printer paper. Oh, this was going to be fun. And she hadn't even opened the smaller bag yet.

Thus the delirium began.

 **12:00 A.M.**

I sat on the couch, watching TV. Hanji sat beside my feet on the floor, messing around with my phone. Why did I trust her with that again? Whatever, I didn't even care. If she sent anything weird to people, they'd know it wasn't me. I looked down at the sound of giggling.

"Oh Levi, I knew you were into yaoi, but I didn't know you liked it so much," she said.

Fuck. She had definitely not been looking through my texts.

"Give me that," I said, trying to wrestle my phone away from her. She kept evading me, though, and I eventually gave up. She was right; she did already know my little secret, so what was the point of hiding it from her? I was just glad she didn't go through the pictures on my computer.

A few minutes later, I looked down at her. I hadn't been paying attention to her for a while, and just when I looked down, my phone lit up. Someone had sent me a text.

"Who was it, and what did they say?" I asked.

"It was Erwin, and he said, 'Oh, it's okay Levi. I'm glad you could get that off your chest," Hanji said.

"Get what off my chest?" I asked. She didn't reply, and at the silence, I snatched my phone from her successfully. I read "my" texts to Erwin to see what "I" had said.

 **Levi (Hanji): Erwin, can I tell you something? Keeping it secret has been bothering me lately, and I don't want to keep it a secret to everyone anymore. I want to at least tell one person.**

 **Erwin: Sure thing.**

 **Levi (Hanji): I have an obsession with this thing... Please don't tell anyone else.**

 **Erwin: I won't.**

 **Levi (Hanji): It's called yaoi.**

 **Erwin: What's that?**

 **Levi (Hanji): I'll send you some pictures, it's easier than explaining.**

After this, Hanji had sent no less than five pictures, all _very_ good examples of yaoi, that had come straight from my saved pictures.

I quickly typed an apology text to Erwin, saying that it was all Hanji's doing. He didn't need to know that all of those pictures were ones I had previously saved. I then pushed Hanji's shoulder with my foot so she fell over.

"What a good friend you are," I grumbled.

"Your best," she said, grinning up at me from the floor.

 **1:00 A.M.**

I lazily looked up from my place on the floor, where I was laying, to see what Hanji was doing. She was using one of my pencils to draw something on her printer paper. I sat up, and leaned over towards her.

She was drawing a very realistic, extremely detailed, dick.

"Uh, Hanji, why are you drawing that?" I asked.

"Why aren't you drawing one?" she asked, looking at me as if it was the most stupid question she'd ever heard.

"Here, we'll work on it together. You just color the bottom part, since I finished outlining it already. Use whatever colors you need to make it realistic; you know what looks realistic better than I do," she said. I was going to retort, but I didn't. It was one in the morning, I had classes tomorrow, and I was sitting on the floor of my living room with my crazed best friend. Why the fuck not color her drawing of a dick.

I took her box of colored pencils, and began coloring.

 **2:00 A.M.**

We got off the floor, and sat across from each other at the kitchen table. At this point, it was getting difficult for me to think coherently. But at the moment, it felt good. I've always loved the feeling I get when I stay up too late where everything becomes much funnier than normal for no apparent reason. It felt exhilarating, and it was fun to loosen up every once in a while. I was getting to the point where my usual resistance to Hanji's weird ideas had completely gone out the window.

She opened her laptop, and began typing something.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Just writing a story," she said, not looking up from her computer. I could see the partially blank document that was quickly filling up in the reflection of her glasses.

"Hey, open my bag and get out the peanut butter," she said. I did, and got up to get spoons without being told to do so. When I came back from the kitchen, I handed her a spoon and one of the jars. We both opened them, and began eating. It was silent for a few minutes, then Hanji spoke.

"Levi, you know Eren likes you, right?" I nearly choked on my peanut butter.

"W-what? He does?" I asked, thoroughly surprised. He glanced at me a lot, but I had figured that that was because he disliked me. I admit, I can be a bit of an asshole sometimes. She laughed.

"Yes, he told me so. And don't worry, he said it was okay for me to tell you. I think he's too nervous to do it himself," she said. I actually liked him quite a bit too, but I hadn't been planning on telling him, since I thought he disliked me.

"Well? Are you going to go after him?" she asked.

"Should I?" I said. She slammed her jar of peanut butter against the table, startling me.

"Levi Ackerman, if you don't go after this man, I will make a body pillow of him for you and force you to sleep with it every night. Have you seen him? Is he not the cutest thing you've ever seen? His eyes are so bright, and his voice is too gorgeous, and his ass... Levi, don't tell me you've never looked at it. And he is very sweet, and has anger issues, just like you. I think you two would be perfect together," she said, giggling. I ignored the 'anger issues' part.

"Fine, fine," I said, "I'll try talking to him tomorrow."

"Good! You better tell me how it goes," she said.

"By the way, would you rather be a top or bottom?" she asked. I didn't even glare at her like I normally would for such a question.

"Hm, I don't know. Bottom?" I said. She smiled, and continued typing.

 **3:00 A.M.**

I could barely stay awake anymore. My head rested on my hand, and I kept falling asleep for a few seconds, then jerking awake again.

Hanji got up from the kitchen table, and walked around to me. She put her hands under my arms, pulling me to stand up. It woke me up a little, though I was still stumbling around.

"Levi," she said, "You need to go to bed."

"Nope," I mumbled, "I'm too tired for that." What was I even saying?

"Yes you do," she said gently. I felt her dragging me over to the couch. I laid down on it, and was asleep in seconds.

* * *

I sat beside Eren, and pulled out of my vague memories from last night. I figured I should probably try talking to him before class started so that it wouldn't be distracting me all morning. I looked over at Eren. He was reading something on his computer with a slight smile, though he appeared to be fighting the smile, like he was trying to look nonchalant. Out of curiosity, I glanced at his computer screen. I would've looked away a second later, if what I had seen had been anything other than _that._

Open on his screen, was a document that had a picture at the bottom. Before I looked at the picture, I saw some of the words.

 _Eren picked Levi up. He squirmed in Eren's arms as he carried Levi to his bedroom._

 _"Eren, please... I need you," Levi whispered breathily._

I just stared at the screen, in shock. This must've been what Hanji was typing last night. I watched Eren scroll to the bottom. There was a photograph of me sleeping down at the bottom; Hanji must have taken it last night.

I decided it might be a better idea to wait until class was over to tell Eren how I feel. And to kill Hanji.


End file.
